MELBOURNE CITY

After a short 5 day stint in Melbourne I've come to the conclusion that it is one of the most overrated cities in the world. Ahead of the times in comparison to Perth but so far behind the rest of the world that they think they're in front.

Everyone thinks they are a rock star.
Because everyone is into fashion over there the metros dress like to the cool kids, this means there is a yucky blur between genuine rockstars, metros, gays and footy players.

This guy has got the right idea

The clubs are shit.

Besides the one good club we went to, allowing some lenience for the underground clubs that I'm sure exist, the Melbourne clubs are poo.
Most try to be high - end and exclusive by not letting us simpletons in, but ultimately once you get in you realise that they aren't much classier than clubba on a Thursday night, with worse music. yer the women are fit but they're all over old men in suits and buddy Franklin. and if i wanted to listen to cafe jazz I'd go to a cafe for fucks sake.

BagRaiders at Eurotrash was sick.

I have no idea how people like watching the grandprix.

yer the promo girls walking around are fit, but how boring and loud is it.

Some positive points:

.The Crown is a gambling addicts mecca.

.There is cabs everywhere.

.You don't have to line up and worry about getting stabbed at tuart hill maccas if you need an early morning feed or a stiff beverage.

NB: things to look out for early morning:

. Paint smoking aboriginals (video to come)

. Corona pouring crackheads

. 31 y.o.'s with fake baps

. Raving homosexuals on the pipe

. Monty

.I found a 10 mpxl camera

.The strippers all have foreign accents. this makes me smile

NB: no matter what you pay them. they're not hookers.