CHICKEN LICKIN'

QUESTION:

Wizard breath,
I write to you as I have been breathing my breath, most likely that which you have been so scrupulously sniffing between the hours of 11 & 3 on loftus street; in ponderment of whether I should lay ten eggs a week or a golden egg every six weeks. Sorry to ask you a question of such socio-political context on such an avant-garde forum on the banalities of whinging wogs and wardrobe wizards. But I must digress, I know this breaks most neo-traditional chicken conundrums, but I put to you... The "condom conundrum", I was rather rooster-liking in my pen a week or so ago when searching through my top drawer for a bedroom blocker cherry chopper. Yet no longer could I find the normal blue ansell's one has grown so accustomed to over the years in length and girth. I had only the options of sonic-strawbanger or banana-bender, never has one been subjected to such putrid fruity flavours for such a fruitless frolicking excercise, wherein not even one cherry was taken. To this I attribute to one thomo-thompskin's who had been filandering in the spare bedroom with one we shall only refer to as the bitch using up the priceless commodity of the plainly normal, blue ansell's.
So do you think it was not only my breath but the sonic-strawberry-strawbanger you were sniffing on loftus street?
Most sincerely,
The crumpet-chump ( Carl H-T)
Nb. RIP blue ansell's!

You have a serious problem, and im not talking about your lack of flavourless condoms, whats so bad about a bit of strawberry to spice things up in the sack anyway. The real problem is in your complete inability to embrace your true self, you are clearly poultry, deal with it. It also troubles us here at T.W.A.T.W. that you are still mates with thommo and allow him to fornicate in your house, deal with this too.